Yesterday I said that the 4th of July is all about fingerfood since I gave you some festive Brownie Bites to snack on…but I might have to take it back. Mostly because it kind of, meaning really, grosses me out when people eat with their fingers. So today we are going the opposite direction. No finger licking allowed around here. You must use a fork. You are an adult and pasta salad is not supposed to be eaten with your fingers. That is, unless you are home alone on a Friday night and no one can see you. But if you are at a BBQ or anywhere around other decent human beings, you must resist the urge to lick your fingers. For the love of god, man. Just knock it off. Can you tell that finger licking is a pet peeve of mine? Guess I need to hold up a mirror and dive in deep to that, huh? Damnit. Growing up and self reflecting is a real bitch when you’re just trying to make a joke.
Ever since I embraced foods outside of paleo, I’m now living my truth. Living in the beautiful world of beans and some gluten free pastas. And I have to tell you…it’s glorious. My world is now filled with endless possibilities of food combinations that I missed out on for years. What a shame. What a waste.
But now that I’m 33, I refuse to miss out on any food moment for the rest of my life. I just can’t do it. I won’t do it. My life is going by way too damn fast to be on my death bed one day and wish I would have eaten that slice of lasagna or wedding cake.
Speaking of wedding, I’m going to a friends wedding in 3 weeks and I already bought a dress from France. I honestly didn’t know it was coming from France until I purchased it and the DHL shipping said 3 weeks. But it just came and I’m in looooove! I’ve been eyeing this dress for months now, but had no reason to purchase it then BOOM, wedding invite. Weddings are the best, but dresses are even better.
Now wait…I forgot to talk about this pasta salad. The people who hate intros to recipes will hate me, but here I am, still standing and still talking. The thing about holidays is that you don’t want to put much effort into cooking. I mean, I don’t. I want to be outside and hanging out with other people instead of spending my time in the kitchen. Call me not-so-old-fashioned. Or don’t because that sounds weird. But I prefer to chat with my friends vs watching them from afar as I cook. Maybe just a personal preference. I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m really craving lasagna now. And wedding cake. So in the meantime, I’ll just be wearing my wedding guest dress around the house while I eat this pasta salad WITH A FORK. I’m not an animal.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place bacon on the parchment paper then place in the oven to bake for 15-20 minutes (time will range depending on the thickness of the bacon).
While bacon cooks, fill a large pot with water. Add a pinch of salt, cover, and bring to boil. Add pasta to the water and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently. Once pasta is done cooking, drain and rinse in cold water to cool completely.
Whisk together ranch and mayo.
Chop bacon, lettuce, and dice tomatoes.
Add pasta, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes and ranch mixture to a bowl. Then add salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes. Mix to combined then serve immediately or keep chilled until serving. Serve same day because the lettuce will get soggy with time.